Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

what happened to the asian who failed his math quiz... his parents killed him

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

Once, I went to Peru.

What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

how would you feel when your girlfriend dumps you really bad because she just dumped you man!!!1

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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