Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Where's the soap?

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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VITAMIN C!

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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