There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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30cm = 0,3meters

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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