An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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