Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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Y u do dis?

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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whats a joke

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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