how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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