What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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