- Anti Joke

Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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