An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +6

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A dog was barking at a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops