so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

One time i was sitting down

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...