CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

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osama bin laden is dead

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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why did the chicken cross the road cause i fucked your mom

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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Ian's mind Elevator music

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What did the boy say when he could'nt find his dog? I wonder where Spot went.

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops