What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

mikey is cute

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

Sex vagina. lol.

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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