why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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