A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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