Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops