If the 49ers won the superbowl

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Justin Beiber

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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