A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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well now

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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