What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

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Continents are large islands.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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