Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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kill yourself

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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