what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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God

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Your face

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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Netflix and chill

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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