A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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A bar walks into a man

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

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Y u do dis?

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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