snooki

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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WNBA

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A Sloth runs...

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Joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops