A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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so the weather's nice...

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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how did the man die he didnt

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


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Anti-Joke Chicken

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