How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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1+1=2

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guest what i love pancakes

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Weed.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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