What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops