Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Who is John Galt?

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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thomas!!!!

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops