How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

thumb_up thumb_down

Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

thumb_up thumb_down

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make your house smell bad? fart

thumb_up thumb_down

A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops