Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

What do you call a Fat man? You call him by His name because that's the polite thing to do.

Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

Who invented apple? God

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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