How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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5 - samios in a wheelchair.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops