What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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5 - samios in a wheelchair.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Why do i have no likes? Because im disliked...

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops