What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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Fart

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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