A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Logan's gay

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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I? Everett

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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