What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops