whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

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obama

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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