A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops