Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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