What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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How do you end a sentence

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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How old is your mom Dead

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops