Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So does Blake

thumb_up thumb_down -3

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

wanna here a good joke? me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

WHAT THE BABIES?!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The Big Bang Theory (the show).

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

thumb_up thumb_down -5

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops