Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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A woman wears a dress.

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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