Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

what's up? my penis.

One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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