What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the teenager commit suicide? Because he was constantly being bullied in school, which caused him to be depressed. Days later he found out that his mother had breast cancer and was most likely not going to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

thumb_up thumb_down +4

get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops