- Anti Joke

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

Punching a baby

yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

womens rights

Do you love me? No.