Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Jellybeans

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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