What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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