What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Hello

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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