Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

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A Russian Irish and American beat up on a Canadian. the only thing wrong with that is i forgot the , in between the races. but on the good side the Canadian was Justin Bieber

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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<=3 penis

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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