A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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