- Anti Joke

2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

Sticks and stones may break my bones.

Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

Sam Hengal.

Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol