What do you call a Jew A Jew

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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So I was walking down the road today

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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