Bitch

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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John Stamos.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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