Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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Hi

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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im watching you..

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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